Please understand. I am always trying to please you. I am always working toward perfection even when I know I will never reach it. Please understand I am working to be the best I can be even though I know I may never get there.
Everyday I see you getting closer and closer to reaching your goals and I feel like I get farther and farther from mine. You do your best for your family and everyone around you. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You see everything in color. You know there are endless possibilities for all aspects of your life. You know that your day will be so great even if a million things go wrong. You have so much that could lead you to the wrong path and yet you still succeed and push forward. You are the love of my life and make me want to better not only for you but for myself too.
But, please understand I don’t see color, I see black and white. Please understand, I too wear my heart on my sleeve if not more than you. Every word you say to me I take to heart. I try to let it be just words but your tone, your body language, they way you look. It all makes it so much more than words. When you see endless possibilities I see very few and limited. I see my life going to shit and me being so unhappy at some job. Instead of seeing it going forward with all of traveling, making memories, and love (which will happen). Everyday you know your day will be great, I wake up dreading the day knowing I go to a job that I despise, knowing I’ll have to sit another day wondering what I want with my life, what I can do to really love my job. Please understand, I try to steer myself with the way you see things so beautifully, but I see it so gray.
Please understand, I am trying to make myself proud one day. To look back and see all the amazing things I have accomplished, that I have put my dream life to reality. I KNOW I can do it but you make it look so easy. It just comes natural to you. Please understand, you, you are my world. You make me better. You make me see color. You help me see the little happiness in life instead of the million wrongs. You help me know that words can be just words instead of a million other meanings. You say I love you so many times a day and I know each time that something you thought, saw, or said made you think of me that day and each time you say it you mean it.
Please understand I am yours.
With all my love,